1st Time CSI

A total failure. A total mess. Nothing else.

But we are strong. We learn from our mistakes. We will continue to fail, so that we will reach to the summit of success. It's okay to fail. Fail now better than fail later.

Communication Breakdown

Now let's talk about one common problem which has been existed for a very long time. Communication is an art. The efficiency of communication determines whether is a relationship working or not. It's not just apply to lovers but to everyone because we are not alone. We have family and friends. Sometimes we will encounter certain issues which cause negative emotions within ourselves. I could say 90% is due to the factor of communication problem.

We are all scientists. Why I say so? It's because we like to make assumptions and come up with theories. But the nature of our heart makes all of us different. Some will conduct the experiments while some just continue to assume. What's the connection? Well, sometimes words are not being conveyed successfully. It's normal. But we often like to put blame on people rather than on ourselves. If we are willing to ask, will it become a big breakdown?

Another major problem is we tend to be selfish. We might say, "well, you don't ask." or "well, you don't tell me." There's always like this. One will blame another and vice versa. This causes a crack between two people. For me, I'm neutral, honestly. I don't care if I don't know certain things. Maybe I really don't put an effort to ask. Why bother so much while life is too important that no time should be wasted on such small things? Communication is a bridge with two ends. It's not good to put blame because it's not just one man's matter. Talk. Say it out loud. Ask. Human communicates with words. No one have the ability to read mind, yet.

That's my thought.

How I Treat People

I never thought my previous post "Things I learned from others" will receive some comments. Well, I'm just saying out my own personal opinion. Some of the viewers agreed on me. Inspired by that, I come up with another post. It's about how I treat people.

To be honest, socializing is really a difficult task. As I mentioned before, there's no right or wrong but simply different perspective. Thus, although I do so as I think this is appropriate, somehow my action might cause anger or disatisfaction of others. Then, they will mad at me. In reality, if I insist on doing everything to the perfect level, I will die. So, I rather just be myself.

Again. Here's my disclaimers. I'm not criticizing people. This is simply personal thoughts.

Respect & Accept
I understand no one is perfect. Every individual is different in term of thinking and emotion process. This is due to everyone of us grow up in a different background. What we faced in the past shape our mind and perception. Therefore, definitely there will be debates between others and I. I respect and accept everyone. But the word "accept" could be "agree" and "disagree". What I mean is that I won't discriminate if you think otherwise on certain issues. I respect everyone.

No Justifying or Clarifying
This is a bit complicated. Sometimes, people might find it difficult to understand why we do this, why we do that. Occasionally, we might need to explain our action so that others will understand. For me, if you choose to do so, your action don't really jeopardizing anything, I won't ask for clarification. I'm sure you have reasons. In simple word, there is no need to explain everything single thing if you're a friend of mine.

Just Ask, Don't Expect
This has been always haunting everyone. We often expect things from others and people might disappoint us. When this happen, we don't know how we should think. Is it our fault that we shouldn't expect anything at the first place? Is it their fault that how come they never be so concern on us? For me, I don't like to do so. So, I will just ask for favours if I need one. If I don't ask, it means I'm not expecting. When I apply this, I feel easier to socialize with friends and family. Expectation is more appropriate to be used against inner self. For example, I expect myself to be better person or achieve higher goals.

Give Time, Space & Freedom
Even though you're my super super best friends, still you have your life and I have mine. We don't have to stick together all the time. If you face any difficulties, I'll give you complete private space but I'll always be there if you need me. The word "need" is used as above, not "expect". In fact, giving freedom enhances relationship. For example, I can share what I encounter and you can do the same with me. By sharing different experience, we learn more from each others.

Pattern
By now, we already know everyone is different. So, I could conclude that to deal with different people, different patterns are being adopted. You could easily tell that I'm different when I with someone and while spending time with another. But I'm not a two face. This is because I can't use the same way of talking with this person to another person. Don't mix this up as saying "I'm not myself when I'm with people", "I'm lost". We're always ourselves, but the version varies at different stages.

In conclusion, I treat people with heart to heart. But the reality is always unpredictable. I might be a person who is difficult to get along. I might be a person you like to hang out with. But this is nobody's fault. No matter how hard we try, we will always have friends and foes. We think we are doing something right, but someone is raging about our action. So, I come up with my ways of treating others.

I never blame on people, but I'll start to do so if I was being blamed. If you do this to me, I'll have a different pattern to use on you.

Honesty

We often heard of the phrase "Honesty is the best policy". Indeed, it is a good thing to be practised. We should tell the truth, all the time. We grow up with this thought. So, I will be honest. Tell me, who doesn't lie? In fact, there is a whole wide gray area to be discovered regarding about honesty.

Firstly, it depends on how we define honesty and lying. For me, it's simple. As long as we are not saying something contradicting to our mind, it's not lying. Now, hear me out. Sometimes to make things easier, I will simply say things half-half which means I purposely hiding part of truth. Do you considering me as a liar? But I don't tell any lie while I'm doing so. What about white lie? Sometimes we just don't have a choice but rather telling white lie.

In short, it is easy to define honesty theoretically. One thought can be conveyed in several ways. With proper choice of words, it can be accepted easily. Sentences with same meanings but bad words are going to piss people off. Telling something while hiding something else is just to reduce unnecessary damage. Sometimes I have my point of not telling someone about something. I do all above but I don't lie, yet. Shall I consider myself as an honest guy?

That's my thought.

Another week

Third year life isn't that hectic at the beginning. I have free time everyday. I can do revision day by day. There are homeworks occasionally and I have enough time to finish it. Other than studying, I can also play games and watch movies. I can say I'm having a good life, for now.

All 3 chemistry classes go on as usual. I feel numb towards chemistry. For now, these subjects are still manageable. I can still cope with all these.

I have entomology lectures with fixed timetable from the lecturers. Right now, the lecture part is finished. I have a long break until after Raya celebration. By the time I start again, it would be time for us to perform simulation. No more talking and reading but practically to get involved in insects business on dead bodies.

Finally, there is the first lecture of criminology and psychology. The lecture uses different approach to deliver. Instead of power point, she just talks to us and discuss about the topic. She asks questions to trigger our mindset and make us think.

I just had second lecture of HM. It is boring, as usual. But I have to start on the project.

Last week was convocation week. I attended for my seniors' one. Finally, our first batch of Forensics students graduated. 2 more years till my turn, I wonder how it would be.

At first, we often went to Danau UKM to swim. Then, the chance of doing so has become lesser for me. I went to jog once. I played badminton once.

It sounds like I really have a heaven-like day. But don't ever think so. It's just my time to get busy isn't coming yet. Wait. It will show up eventually.

Profile Picture

Let's talk about profile picture. Internet users should have been joining many different social network sites. The main purpose to join is to keep in touch with friends. Besides, we can meet new friends. But can all these be done by just looking at the profile pictures? There is no guarantee in term of safety and trustworthy.

Some people like to use picture of celebrities or cute graphics. Some use their pets or baby in the family. Some use their own picture but edited with photoshop and it seems like halo and glitters are around their faces. Of course, I'm not saying that all these are bad. I have friends who do so. But my main point is that how others are able to recognize and know that you're the one using that profile? This question contradicts with the reason of joining social network sites.

They have the freedom to choose their profile pictures. But what about the names? Some even use weird or techno names which are confusing. So imagine a profile picture with unrecognizable name, who would have known the identity of that person? Well, perhaps this is the intention. I can't blame or criticize people who do so. The truth is that reality is scary enough. No one is safe. Thus, many decide not to use own pictures and real name. Who should we blame?

That's my thought.

The Last Airbender

I can also call this movie as Avatar but unfortunately, James Cameron is too fast. He claimed the name. However, The Last Airbender is one good name too.

Based on an animation, this movie has come to real life action. I was attracted to it and definitely I will find a chance to watch it. For me, it was okay. Perhaps I had high expectation towards it and it didn't reach the level. There were some boring parts. I didn't blame so because it was done to narrate some previous stories. To compensate time, less action parts were being written out. The actors were okay. But the main actor is a young kid. I felt he had a long way to go. He couldn't portray well emotions.

This is a planned trilogy movie. Of course I didn't have to google about it to know. The ending part was written for a space for more stories. So, will it be sequel? I don't know.

Things I Learned From The Others

There's a Chinese saying as "There's one teacher among 3 people together". It simply means in our life, we encounter lots of people. We learn a lot from them and they learn from us. It's not just about knowledge but includes everything. Passion, honesty, perception and many more. We meet people who we like and dislike. Sometimes, we can't stand with someone. Sometimes, we just can't get along with another. We see bad personality inside someone's heart and we often overlook ours. The truth is that we should see people as a mirror which reflects us back to ourselves.

Through out my life, I know a lot of people. I have friends, some are close while some are not. It's normal. We can't expect everyone is our close friends. For me, I only have few friends whom I considered as best mates. I can truly be myself while hanging out with them. A few is enough. Then, for others, I'm myself too but I alter my way of expressing myself to them. I'm not faking but I keep certain parts of me inside my heart cage. Socializing makes me know myself and understand how the network works. Thus, I come up with several slightly different version of me. These are the things I learned from the others.

Before I continue, I would like to clarify something.

1. I'm not being emotional.
2. I'm not writing this to harm or hurt anyone.
3. I refer the others as "they". They doesn't represent someone specifically.
4. Don't make assumptions on what I posted.
5. I'm only expressing my points of view.

Do my own thing
What I mean here is not asking others to do my stuff, but focus on my own work and do it well. It's better to mind our own business rather than sticking our neck out into their matters. This is different than being selfish. Of course, when we realize others might need our help, we can offer. But make sure we can do it. What's the point of promising while we know that matters are out of our league? When we are involved into a mess, we have strings attached. In this case, a common scenario might happens. We can be easily blamed if we do something and even if we didn't do. Thus, I learn to do my own thing, well. Don't simply jump into a whirlpool.

Never post everything online
Everyone knows well that once it is posted into the web, it never fades away. Internet is meant for public regardless how strict the security status is. People will know what are you doing, writing or playing. So, handle it well. The main point at here is like this. We express our emotions online. Then, people will know. If the emotion is negative side, damages might occur without being realized on our own. People start to speculate and make wrong assumptions. We might feel that certain messages are pointing at us and eventually we feel being hurt. I just can't stand this feeling any longer. Thus, I choose which to be ignored and which to be read. For myself, I don't do what others did.

Every decision comes with risks
It is impossible to make one decision that meet everybody needs. Some how, we have to make sacrifices. It's not our fault when someone is being ignored after the best decision is being made. Another important reminder is that we need to understand and analyze the situation well. If we insist on finding a solution that can fit every aspect, we might miss lots of thing. In the end, although decision is made, it already jeopardize our actions. Another risk is we don't have be bound to the decision so much. We have to be flexible and know everything is subject to change. If we have to change our decision for better good, just change and stop whining.

Appreciate
Life is fair. Life is unfair too. Why? Life depends on how we look at it. We lost things we like, we found things we like. While we are gaining, we are losing as well. This happens to everyone. So, appreciate what we have now. Don't just sitting down and asking God why you can't have this and that. I'm not only referring to our properties but including our family and our body. I have flaws and I live with it. With this illness within me, I learn a lot. I believe that I will turn to a jerk if I don't have this illness. I really do appreciate everything I have now and I'm happy. Happiness is not something we search for somewhere. It will show up when we start to change our perspective.

The most important lesson
It doesn't bother me if I have to do something extra for people I know. Why we have to be so calculating? When we fuss about something, it affects our emotions. Isn't this a silly move? I don't care if I'm always the one who do this and that. If I don't want to do it, I will voice it out. But after I do it, I won't be furious about it. When we feel angry or moody, our way of thinking will change and distort. We might say something wrong and feel regret about it later. Damages were done. What's the point of apology? Stay positive at every moment. Accept the fact that we can't expect everything to be as we wish for. The differences are like challenges and the obstacles are present to help us, not to tear us down. We shape ourselves up to be strong and a better person.

Well, in conclusion, I've changed. I've learned. I am who I am. But to determine how's my personality, I give full freedom for you to decide. As long as I do my thing right, I'm fine with everything.

My last phrase: There's no right or wrong. It's just different perspective.